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Sunday, November 6, 2011


So I have noticed a lot of discussion of whether or not it's ok to start celebrating with Christmas music and decorations.  I must say that I am one who believes that it's free game after Halloween.  As I get older and busier I find that if I don't start celebrating earlier in the year, I don't get to enjoy all the wonders of the season.  For me, putting up my Christmas tree or listening to Holiday music doesn't take away from celebrating Thanksgiving, but enhances it. Preparing for the day of Thanksgiving with "Deck the Halls" playing in the background brings joy to my soul which in turn reminds me of all that I have to be grateful for. 

I know not everyone would agree with me on this, but just remember this is the season to be jolly, so if you meet someone who is all decked out for Christmas in the middle of November, just smile and remember that we all have our own ways to celebrate and that doesn't make them ungrateful.  =)

Tuesday, July 12, 2011


I have a love hate relationship with summer; I have for as long as I can remember.  I love that it stays light so late; I love hiking and camping; I love that you can go outside without shoes (I also have a love hate relationship with shoes and socks).  I love the Fourth of July, and the 24th of July (Pioneer Day).  However, I have always been very prone to heat exhaustion and that's where the hatred comes from.  I have never been able to sit out in the sun for more than 30-60 minutes without feeling like I have been running a marathon.  Since summer is all about sunshine I am not able to fully enjoy this season.  No matter how much water I drink or what sun protection I wear I cannot not feel this way.  So as much as I love everything about summer, it most definitely NOT my favorite season.  Give me football season, fall leaves, and the anticipation of the holidays anytime!

Saturday, June 25, 2011


So much lately I have been at a loss for words.  Issues of all sorts come up and I really don't know how to respond.  I know how I feel (for the most part) about the issue, I just don't know how to communicate that.  One example would be the gay marriage issue that has been brought to the forefront again because of the recent legislation in New York.  I was talking to my neighbor earlier today and it came up and I really didn't know what to say. As in my mind went blank whenever I opened my mouth to say something.  Maybe it's God telling me that I don't know enough to argue about it and to just not say anything.  Or maybe I just know deep down that no matter what I say the issue will still be a hot topic and so my mind rationalizes and concludes "what's the point?"  Either way, I would just like to say that even though I know that homosexuality is not right and never will be under any circumstances I do not hate people, I do not wish harm on anyone.  It's the act I judge, not the person.  I'm not perfect, and I have my own trials and pitfalls, but I know for myself that homosexuality, along with fornication and adultery, are trials and temptations sent from the devil, and not some genetic thing that makes us prone to these acts from birth. 

Sunday, April 3, 2011


I went doen to St. George this weekend to support my sister, Autumn, as she did a triathlon.  It was her first, and she did an AWESOME job!  Finished in less than an hour!  Such an awesome acheivement, but enough about her!

But really, I wanted to talk about good friends.  Autumn and I were able to stay with an old roommate of ours from BYU.  We have known her and her husband for many years, and were really good friends in college.  Though we have tried keeping in touch and meeting regularly we haven't been very successful.  But the part I love is that when we do finally get together it's like it's been a couple of days, and not years, since we last saw each other.  There is always that feeling of apprehension when you are seeing someone after a long time, but the true testament of true friends is when you realize that feeling was unfounded and silly.  I'm so blessed to have these kinds of friends.  Though they may be few, or hard to find, they are awesome to have around!

Saturday, March 12, 2011


Lately I have been struggling with patience.  Not on the small scale, but on the large scale.  I wish May would get here so we could go on our annual week long camping trip to southern Utah.  I can't wait for summer so I can send the kids outside without having to worry about coats and shoes that I have to help put on.  I really wish the day was here that I could quit my job outside the home and be a stay at home mom.  The only problem is that I am sure once these days finally get here, I will enjoy them for sure, but there will probably be new things I am impatient for.  So the solution would be to stop thinking about those days and live in the here and now.  If only the here and now seemed as exciting as those days I am impatient for.  =)

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Weight issues

Anyone who knows me knows I have had issues with my weight since about 9 or 10 years old.  I am no stranger to being made fun of or getting bullied because of my weight.  Thanks to my family I was still able to come through public schools with a pretty high sense of self worth.  I am who I am and I know that whether I am overweight or not I will not change the way I treat people.  I want to learn better ways to treat and relate to food.  For a long time I used food as my escape.  I'm not saying I don't fall into that pattern now, but I'm happy to say it's now more the exception than the rule.  You readers may have noticed I pledged weight on the pound for pound challenge for The Biggest Loser.  I have pledged 50 pounds.  This is probably only a fourth of the weight I need to lose.  It is discouraging to realize that, but I think much of the process to losing weight is being aware of your body and habits. 

I'm no expert at any of this, but I know some things that are/are not working for me.  The first thing is to decide what you want to work on first: improving eating, or improving exercise.  Thinking about changing everything in my life all at once overwhelms me and makes me want to give up.  So I started small.  I started by decreasing my portion sizes.  Being able to do this helps if you increase the amount of water you drink during the whole day, and especially during your meal.  Slow down, chew thoroughly, and take frequent drinks. 

Next I found an exercise that worked for me.  I chose walking outside because i don't have the money for a gym membership and I wanted to get to the point where i could run.  I have suffered a mild ankle injury, but before that I was doing interval walking/running for 30 minutes 3-4 days a week.  Though I do this by myself, it has helped to have my wonderful sister as my accountability partner.  We both have an ultimate goal of running several races throughout the year. 

So these were just my first steps in a long journey.  I have made other steps, and I hope I will continue to reach my goals.  The point I wanted to make in this post is to make small goals, choose things that work for you, and keep plugging along.  Even if you have a set back, the fact that you are trying and not giving up is what matters.

I didn't really mean for this post to be a self help blog, but I guess I just want others to know that even if you are not on The Biggest Loser and losing 5-10 pounds per week, weight loss is still possible and important.  I must say that I used to refuse to watch shows about weight loss because it would depress and discourage me, and I would go get more chocolate or ice cream or chips and gorge myself.  Now I see it as uplifting and inspiring.  I like listening to the tips they give and enjoy when those tips are ones that work well for me. 

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Living with depression

Depression is a highly misunderstood disease. It is often made fun of, dismissed, or seen as a weak excuse. Being someone who has lived with it for 2/3 of my life, I would say to those attitudes: "screw you". =) I know there are always those who will never understand what those of us with crippling diseases go through on a day to day basis, but it would be nice to not be judged by them. They can keep their opinions to themselves. What I don't think they realize is that their judgemental attitudes only make my depression worse, adding guilt to the cocktail of feelings I have.

All of us feel depressed at one time or another. It is a part of life. It is something everyone should be able to understand. Having to fight with the feelings everyday is tiring and discouraging. Somedays it takes everything in my soul to get myself out of that bed or off the couch and make myself do something as simple as getting myself a drink. On those days the thought of picking up a room or playing with my children makes me want to cry. This fact makes me feel worthless, which adds to my depression. It is a vicious cycle and some days it takes help from friends and family as a supplement to my medication to keep me from going over the edge and crawling back into my bed to ignore the world.

I know my family is affected by my depression, and it seems to have gotten worse in the past couple of months, though why that is i have no idea. I know depression is kind of a taboo subject in today's society, but I feel it is one that needs to be discussed and better understood. Just like with any disease, with knowledge comes understanding, and with understanding comes acceptance and the ability to help those with the disease. It is not easy for me to say to just anybody, but I have depression and I work every day to overcome the challenges that come with it and be the best person I can be.